Lucifer you’re a mean ol’ putty tat!
So my friend came into school one day wearing a dress that had straps and the vice principal came up to her and said “You need to either change or cover your shoulders up because it’ll distract the boys” to which she replied “Well I find boys faces distracting, do they have to cover them up?” and the vice principal said “Maybe you should focus in class more.”
If that doesn’t tell you that things are messed up, then I don’t know what does.
Unsure of how to confess your love to someone? Try this:
- Acquire several dozen limes.
- Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
- Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
- Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
- Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
- Look them deeply in the eyes and say, “Sorry. I’m bad at Pickup Limes.”
- Marry them.
i want to sit on a rooftop with you at 2 in the morning and listen to your favorite songs and talk about how pretty the stars are
Want more facts? Visit the Ultrafacts blog!
The national geographic one gets me all the time.
i foudn the angriest looking fish in the world
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS PIZZA WITHOUT MY DRINK?!
The Avengers are every person you see in high school.
The shy nerd
The asshole you just can’t hate
The hot foreign guy
The quiet guy who’s always playing guitar and probably smoking something
His bitchy/bad ass girlfriend (depending on if she likes you or not)
The emo kid that somehow gets all the chicks
And that one cheerleader that EVERYONE knows has a hard-on for the athlete
Made this a while back
Okay, doesn’t dan look like a young CROWLEY?
HOLY SHIT WHAT
First we have Cousin Matt and now we have Dan